July 2010
5 posts
“I JUST HATE HER, in a friendly way.”
– daniel rainbow eyes choi
mutual fears.
me: your relationship is so boring and plain. and you're always having to listen to everything he says. it's not ideal at all. you could do better.
mom: you're too young to understand. when you get older, you'll learn to settle.
me: what if i don't want to settle?
mom: then you'll have to do one of the most frightening things on earth. something i'll always be afraid of.
me: what's that?
mom: growing old alone.
this is fucking ridiculous
bullshit. i haven’t been this pissed in a long ass fucking time. so i have a nice fucking day and my mom picks me up to go to the market because my stepdad wants her to fucking cook dinner even though she has a fucking migrane and it’s too fucking late for her to prepare his fucking dinner in the first place. then we go home and he’s helping us carry the groceries in. and my mom...
when i was little, i never pictured
myself like this. the bad one. the black sheep. the screw-up of the family. i suppose the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, because my mom was the one her parents didn’t like to talk about. but i can’t blame anyone other than myself.
when i was young, i thought i’d be a studious child. a perfect child. if someone had told my younger self that i would turn out like...
all this worry
is driving me insane. i keep wondering what happened to the others, and wondering how my stepdad will react. i’m so stressed/worried right now, i can’t even eat. which is a huge deal for me, in case you didn’t know. people keep asking what happened and i don’t feel like talking about it. punch line of this fucking joke? we’re all fucking dead.
tired but can’t...