every day is mother's day.
it’s nice to see everyone on facebook doing something special for their moms for mother’s day.. but i think there’s something wrong with the fact that we only have one day in the entire year to celebrate the most influential person in our lives. do the dishes for her often. clean house for her once in a while. get her favorite candy/ice cream for her when you know she’s...
In the lives of children, pumpkins can turn into coaches, mice and rats into...– Gregory Maguire
that mini heart attack you get when you lose your wallet. and jizzing in your pants after you find it.
I have been wearing
my work shirt inside out for the past four hours. I am not a morning person.
to the two girls
who have been sitting at table eight for over two hours whilst babysitting two beers. I have been stuck here listening to you guys whine for so long.. “why are we still single? I don’t understand omg!!” “fuck men we should just become lezzzbianzz!” maybe if you shut up once in a while, guys would be able to tolerate your insufferable presence. BOOM PROBLEM SOLVED...
chairs and blankets.
sam: oh no please don't tell me you're inside the fort..
me: hehe i'm inside the fort.
are you alright?
are you sure?
yes. now if you could excuse me..
where are you going?
i am going to go read about someone elses' life in an attempt to forget about my own.
if you tell eveyrone youre okay then everyone will think youre okay and so many people will think youre okay that itll convince you that youre okay. so fake it till you make it. at least in public. when youre home you can repress it easier.
We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at...– Eleanor Roosevelt
Anonymous asked: Where do you go to college?
me: can you cuddle with me until sam gets here?
jiyoung: COME HERE. MY BODY IS READY.
*two minutes later*
jiyoung: AREN'T YOU GONNA CUDDLE WITH ME? NICE TO KNOW WHAT A DICK YOU ARE.. LEADING ME ON AND SHIT.
wake up after three hours
of sleep to take my sister to school and wait FIFTEEN GODDAMN MINUTES for her to put a goddamn PIN IN HER GODDAMN HAIR HOLY SHIT. and come back home to have my mom start talking to me about mother/daughter porn.. ugh i’m done. this is why i don’t do mornings.
me: happy birthday lover!
me: in bed?
tinho: in, around, under, behind, in the bathroom, etc.
talking in circles.
juan: why do you like coffee so much?
me: because it goes with my cigarettes.
juan: why do you smoke so much?
me: because it goes with my coffee.
stepbrother: what're you doing home? you're not going out? oh my god what a--
me: i am going out. i just came home to change.
stepbrother: i was going to say 'miracle' but nevermind.
apparently today is mean girl day? i don’t think you having your period...– sam brown
jiyoung: daniel and i talk about shits while we're eating all the time. do you care dan?
dan: hmm? about what?
dan: i take pictures of my shits. i have some on my phone. is that what we're talking about?
first meal in almost
forty-eight hours.. wtf man school is fucking me up.
my classes today were
only from eleven to three thirty, but because it’s so far i have to leave the house by eight and i get home at five. #bitching also, it turns out the history class i signed up for was actually african history, not art history. i am the only non-chocolate person in class and everyone already hates me. yay.
i can imagine being about forty and looking for him again. i turn up, and...– adele
there is a drinking game
where you affix a mustache onto a tv screen and take a shot every time the mustache aligns perfectly with someone’s upper lip. my friends and i always talk about how we should play it one day, but we just never got around to it. today i purchased a package of mustache stickers.. now these bitches have no excuse.